Strengthen your CORE 4

In my previous article, we explored how deficits in connection, definition, integration, and collaboration can negatively impact leadership and team dynamics. Recognizing these weak spots is the first step toward personal and team growth.

Now, it’s time to address these deficits intentionally.

When you engage in consistent action to strengthen these core capacities, you build healthier relationships, clarify expectations, navigate challenges with confidence, and foster environments where everyone can thrive.

Here’s how you can personally begin strengthening each capacity and move toward core strength.

Strengthen Connection: Building Trust and Engagement  

Connection is not just about working alongside others—it’s about creating relationships that are meaningful and reciprocal. Without it, teams struggle with disengagement and isolation.

  • Organize a Life Team:  Ask individuals who are intentionally growing themselves and who have proven they are for you and with you to regularly check in and support you.
  • Prioritize One-on-Ones:  Check in with your Life Team regularly, focusing not just on performance but on your well-being.
  • Practice Vulnerability-Based Trust:  Share your challenges and learning moments with your life team. Ask for what you need.
  • Celebrate Successes:  Celebrate your wins with your Life Team—both large and small.

Strengthen Definition: Setting Boundaries for Clarity and Focus  

Clear boundaries are essential for sustainable leadership. Without them, leaders and teams become overwhelmed, and frustration builds.

  • Define your identity:  Clarify who you are and how you add value to our world.
  • Identify vulnerabilities and triggers:  What is your weak spot? What do you feel incapable of changing?
  • Strengthen your voice:  Practice sharing your likes and dislikes, especially when you are in the minority.
  • Practice setting boundaries:  Identify an area where you need to say no, get support from your life team, and follow through.

Strengthen Integration: Embracing All Aspects of Leadership  

Integration requires facing the full range of realities in leadership—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Avoidance only leads to unresolved conflicts and missed growth opportunities.

  • Identify your area of shame:  Shame triggers our trauma responses, so we need to reveal to heal.
  • Recognize the coping response:  Shame usually shows up in blame, hiding, or defensiveness.
  • Share your shame with a member of your life team:  Letting a trusted relationship hold your shame divides it in half and makes it easier to metabolize.
  • Grieve your losses:  When we experience a loss, we will feel sad or mad or possibly another negative emotion. Emotions must be experienced to dissolve.

Strengthen Collaboration: Building a Posture of Mutuality

The capacity to collaborate is often sabotaged by a ONE-UP (superior) or a ONE-DOWN (subordinate) posture. You want to foster a sense of mutuality where all individuals experience shared value, regardless of role.
  • Discern your tendency: Are you more likely to appear as ONE-UP or ONE-DOWN?
  • A ONE-UP posture indicates an insecurity in definition. Keep working on defining who you are and the value you add apart from your role. Then see what it is like to stay quiet when you would normally take charge.
  • A ONE-DOWN posture also indicates an insecurity in definition. To strengthen this, try speaking up about your preferences, especially to an authority figure like a parent or a boss.
  • Processing with your Life Team will help

Next Steps: Making Core Strength a Habit

Building core strength is not a one-time event—it’s a continuous process that requires intention and consistency.

Start small.

Pick one area to focus on this week. As you see progress, shift your attention to the next area. Over time, your leadership will become more grounded, effective, and resilient.

In the next edition, I’ll share a few stories about how strengthening my core capacities has helped me to flourish!

Until then, ask yourself:

  1. Which capacity needs your attention most right now?
  2. What is one small step you can take today to strengthen it?