
Have you ever dodged a conflict, hoping it would just disappear on its own?
Or maybe you are the one who runs toward conflict, needing to solve it before it starts growing roots.
A few years back, I was that person. The one who was determined to cut off conflict at the knees. And I worked on a team that wanted to avoid it all! All of us believed our method would keep everything calm and peaceful.
We were all wrong.
Avoiding the tension only let it simmer beneath the surface, growing into something much harder to manage. Then I overcompensated by trying to control it.
The result?
I stifled my team’s trust.
I thought I was fixing the problem. Instead, I was creating a new one.
What I’ve Learned
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Grow your capacity to do hard things. Leadership isn’t about comfort—it’s about courage.
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Listen more than you talk. The best solutions come when people feel heard.
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Embrace conflict as a chance to grow. Conflict isn’t a threat; it’s an opportunity for clarity and progress.
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Create a space where people feel safe to speak up. Psychological safety fuels innovation and trust.
The Hard Truth About Conflict
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Avoiding conflict only makes it worse.
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Trying to control it destroys the sense of safety.
As leaders, we need to rethink our approach. Conflict is unavoidable—but it can be handled effectively.
How I Learned to Lead Through Conflict
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Grew my capacity for definition and integration. Understanding my own responses helped me lead with clarity and patience.
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Learned how trust and fear work in the brain. Neuroscience taught me that fear-driven leadership kills collaboration.
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Encouraged open dialogue within my team. When people feel heard, they contribute more.
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Modeled clear, compassionate communication. Leading by example sets the tone for the team.
Conflict Isn’t the Problem—Weak Capacity Is
Unresolved conflict doesn’t mean you have a difficult team.It means there’s an opportunity for growth—in you and in them. Strong leadership isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about navigating it with wisdom and skill.
Let’s take responsibility for our own growth—because when we do, we invite others to follow.
Bravely on,
Julia