Real relational experiences change your brain. --Scott Makin

Why Leaders Can’t Afford to Go It Alone

By Julia LeFevre

Some leaders still think relationships at work are a luxury, something to foster once the results are in. But neuroscience (and real life) tell us something different.

In my newest podcast episode of Wired to Lead, I sit down with my mentor and founder of the Makin Institute for NeuroChange, Scott Makin, to explore a bold claim:

🧠 Real relational experiences change your brain.

Scott shares stories from his own leadership journey, including the moments where connection, not correction, made the biggest difference. We talk about:

• Why willpower and accountability don’t create lasting change

• What makes feedback safe and effective (hint: it’s not the words)

• How new relational experiences can rewire old neural pathways

• Why “trying harder” often fails—and what to do instead

I was ecstatic to have this conversation with Scott because his insights opened my eyes to the one thing that has changed my view of leadership. 

I want the world to know: You don’t grow in isolation.

You grow when someone sees you, knows you, and stays with you, especially when you mess up. That’s the leadership advantage we’re not talking about enough.

🎧 Listen to the full episode with Scott Makin
(I promise, it’ll make you think differently about your next team meeting.)

Reflection Questions: What Kind of Relationships Do You Need?

The authors of The Good Life have identified that positive relationships keep us healthier, yet we often neglect to intentionally nurture them. They suggest taking tie periodically to evaluate and adjust based on what you find.

Let's do this together! Take some time this week to evaluate the status of your relationships using the following prompts:

1. Safety & Vulnerability

• Who in your life makes it feel safe to be fully honest?

• How can you deepen the friendships you currently have?

2. Support & Encouragement

• Do you have relationships that remind you of your strengths?

• When you're struggling, who do you instinctively reach out to—and why?

3. Challenge & Growth

• Who challenges you to grow without shaming or judging you?

• Are there people in your life who help you face uncomfortable truths?

4. Truth-Telling & Accountability

• Who do you trust to tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear?

• What kind of feedback helps you grow rather than shut down?

5. Presence & Consistency

• Who shows up for you—reliably and without needing to be asked?

• Are there relationships that feel one-sided or inconsistent?

6. Joy & Rest

• Who helps you laugh, breathe, and feel lighter?

• Which relationships feel energizing vs. draining?

Not sure what to do with what you see?

Reach out and share with a safe person what you found--and what you'd like to grow. Invite them along on the journey!