Nov 12: Rewiring Leadership: From Wounds to Wisdom

True leadership looks like integration, not perfection.

Rewiring Leadership: From Wounds to Wisdom

By Julia LeFevre

Have you ever noticed how the hardest leaders to work for often teach you the most about who you never want to become?

This week on Wired to Lead, I sat down with Shelley Hernandez, an HR executive who transformed her own painful experiences into a different kind of leadership.

She still remembers the sting of being belittled by a boss early in her career. Instead of burying it, she chose to learn from it. To lead differently. To make sure no one under her care would ever feel that small again.

Now, years later, she’s helping others heal through leadership that’s grounded in honesty and humility.

Neuroscience tells us that when we bring painful memories into safe, empathic relationships, the brain begins to link those experiences with connection instead of fear.

This rewiring process doesn’t erase pain. It transforms it into wisdom. That is what true leadership looks like. Not perfection, but integration.

A Next Step for Leaders

Leadership development often focuses communication, accountability, delegation. Those matter, but they’re surface-level until we address what lies underneath.

These next steps are meant to help you practice leadership that restores rather than reacts.

1. Reflect on what shaped you.
Think back to one moment in your career that left a mark. What did you learn about yourself from that experience? What story does your brain still tell about it? Write it down. Naming it gives you authority over it.

2. Create a space for connection.
Transformation happens in relationship. Identify one person on your team who could benefit from deeper dialogue. Ask, “What’s been hard lately?” and simply listen. The goal isn’t to solve, it’s to see.

3. Model restoration in real time.
Every leader gets triggered. What matters is what you do next. When you react in ways you regret, circle back. Apologize. Clarify. Repair. Restoration doesn’t weaken authority. It builds it.

If you want to see how this process unfolds in real life, tune in to this week’s episode of Wired to Lead with Shelley Hernandez. Her story is a masterclass in turning wounds into wisdom.

Let’s keep leading with clarity, courage, and definition.
Julia