Dec 10: When Insecurity Leads the Meeting

The biggest detriment to leadership is insecurity

When Insecurity Leads the Meeting

By Julia LeFevre

Most leaders think their biggest barrier is a lack of strategy or skills.
But for many, the real barrier is something quieter and more personal.

The thing they won’t say out loud.

The thing they hope no one notices.

The thing that shapes more decisions than they realize.

Insecurity.

When insecurity is running the show, leaders hesitate to speak up.
They second guess decisions.
They wait for permission.
They replay conversations long after everyone else has moved on.
And slowly, their emotional energy drains away.

This week on Wired to Lead, Brandon Stanchock said something that stopped me.
He said, “The biggest detriment to leadership is insecurity.”

And he is right.
Because insecurity is not a personality flaw.
It is a memory issue.

Under every insecurity is a moment in your past when you felt alone, voiceless, or unseen.

Your brain learned to protect you in that moment.
Now it keeps using the same protective strategy long after the threat is gone.

So you withhold your ideas.
Or you work harder than you need to.
Or you silence yourself in rooms where you belong.

The good news is that insecurity can be rewired.
Neuroscience shows that when you revisit the original emotional memory with support, voice, and agency, your brain updates the story.
Your present no longer lives under the weight of your past.

And that is where real leadership freedom begins.

How leaders can take the next step

Here is where I’d invite you to pause and reflect.

• What situation consistently triggers your insecurity?

• When did you first learn that speaking up or standing out was unsafe?

• Who can help you walk back into that memory with care rather than shame?

If you want to begin the work now, try this simple practice today:

Notice the next moment you feel insecure.
Name what emotion is underneath it.
Then ask yourself what your younger self needed in that moment.

• Voice

• Choice

• Connection

• Care

Let that answer guide your next step as a leader.

Listen to this week's episode for more insight

Brandon and I talk openly about insecurity, permission, resilience, and the real inner work of leadership.
If you need encouragement to grow from the inside out, you will feel at home in this conversation. Listen to my full conversation on the Wired to Lead podcast.

Let’s keep leading with clarity, courage, and definition.
Julia

PS: The Brave Reflection Journal is coming soon

If you want a guided space to check in with your emotional world, this journal was created for you.
It will help you notice what you’re feeling, reconnect with what matters, and strengthen the capacities that support healthy leadership. My hope is that it becomes a gentle companion as you enter a new year with more clarity and compassion for yourself.

Sign up here now to receive it when it releases on January 1!